


Lesson Learned

by Pisces21Red



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Everyone else thinks it's fucking hilarious including Ian, Ian pranks backfire (sort of), Ian pranks the fuck out of Mickey, M/M, Mickey gets so annoyed, Mickey's tired of Ian's shit, different scenarios
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces21Red/pseuds/Pisces21Red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian begins messing with Mickey by constructing a series of pranks on him.</p><p>Mickey gets real tired of his shit...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lesson Learned

**Author's Note:**

> I watch way too many fucking YouTube videos...

When Ian got his meds all sorted out and everything dealing with his bi-polar disease, he was doing better than he was when the shit storm first hit. There were the occasional crashes but none of them as severe as his first depressive episode to which everyone gave a sigh of relief to.

The Old Ian was back more often than not, and he even became more playful and more outgoing amongst his family, friends and even strangers. He would play in the backyard pool of the Gallagher household, laughing and playing with his siblings. He would dick around with Lip, the two engaging in their normal brotherly fights and rarely would it get too serious. He’d help Fiona with anything she needed whether it be babysitting Liam or taking him to the doctor or just helping Lip man the household while she was out making money or fucking around with JimmyJackSteve.

And for all that, Mickey was happy, damn ecstatic actually. He was glad that his boyfriend has become himself again and that he’s spending more time with family and other friends; Mickey himself has even hung around the Gallaghers and entertained them once in a while.

But there was a new hobby that Mickey really has come to fucking hate as of late…

“ _IAN_!” Mickey screams as his eyes take in his now neon green colored hair in the bathroom mirror.

…Ian’s fucking _pranks_.

-

It started out innocently enough. A couple of hiding behind corners or tripping him and shit like that, and Mickey would take it lightly, maybe dealing out a quick slap to his boyfriend and that was that.

But the last couple of months, Ian’s been upping the ante and Mickey’s close to losing his shit if he doesn’t stop with the crazy fucking pranks.

-

Venturing out of their bedroom of the crappy, yet homey apartment he and Ian bought, Mickey stops in the kitchen to raid the fridge in search of a quick snack. After getting his brains fucked out by Ian, who’s now in the shower, for a good hour, Mickey feels like he can eat a whole fucking zoo at this point and the minute Ian rolled off of his sweaty body, after taking in a few gulps of air, Mickey pulled on his boxers and one of Ian’s shirts and limped out of the room.

Once he steps into the kitchen though, he sees a tray of vanilla covered chocolate cupcakes sitting on the counter. Mickey licks his lips and silently thanks Ian’s tendency to bake all of the fucking time, while he goes over to devour one…or two…maybe five, yep that’ll do.

Mickey takes the first bite and expecting for his mouth to explode in icing, sticky, cakey sweetness, he immediately begins coughing and choking when he tastes spiciness and overall hotness.

“FUCK, what the fuck?! _IAN_!”

The devilish cupcake hits the floor with a plop and Mickey rushes to the kitchen sink, pushing his head underneath the faucet and sucking in as much cold water into his burning, hot mouth as possible.

He gives a moan of despair when the heat is still waging a war within his mouth despite the gulps of water he’s greedily inhaling into his mouth.

“Use some milk, Mickey!” Ian laughs out making his appearance into the room.

He had just finished his shower, when he heard choking noises and curses emanating from the kitchen and he had quickly threw a towel around his waist and ran to witness the spectacle, even though he has a hidden camera seated comfortably in the kitchen, he still wanted to watch it close up.

Mickey’s spitting profusely in the sink, his face bright red, droplets of sweat dripping down his face from whatever the fuck was in the cupcake, tears mixing in with the sweat. Ian’s statement streams slowly into Mickey’s ears and he staggers over to the fridge, yanking out the gallon of milk and swallowing it down, splashes of it spilling down the front of his clothes and onto the tiled floor.

“What the fuck…did you put in…there?” Mickey pants out, mouth still on fucking fire but having cooled off the slightest bit, and glares the best he can in Ian’s direction.

“Ghost Chili Pepper; it’s supposed to be one of the hottest peppers of the world…how’d ya’ like it, babe?” Ian chuckles.

“Fuck you...” Mickey throws the rest of the gallon of milk at Ian who ducks out of the way. “You’re cleanin’ this shit up…and you ain’t sleepin’ with me tonight…I can hardly fuckin’ breathe...fuck’s wrong with you, dick-brain?” Mickey goes to search for something else to drink in the fridge, furiously displaying his middle finger behind him when he hears Ian start to laugh again.

“Love ya’, Mickey!”

-

It’s a couple of weeks later, around 10 at night and Mickey’s lounging on the Gallagher couch watching T.V. with the rest of the Gallaghers and of course Kev, V and their twins, Amanda, Lip’s rich bitch of a girlfriend and JimmyJackSteve, the pussy that Fiona’s let back into her life. Ian had just left Mickey’s side to go get themselves another beer and Mickey’s on the verge of dozing off himself, since he just left the Alibi a couple of hours ago and he’s been there since 8 this fucking morning; it’s tiring trying to manage an ass load of whores and customers who don’t want to pay their fucking share.

Mickey’s head hits the back of the couch, closing his eyes and lets himself drift off for a couple of seconds, oblivious to the stifled giggles coming from those sitting around him.

“Hey, let’s get you home to bed, ‘kay?” Ian whispers in his boyfriend’s ear after he comes back from the kitchen, shaking the smaller male awake and gathering their stuff quietly.

“What’s that on your shoulder, man?” Everyone hears Carl asks and Mickey looks down at himself when he realizes the question is directed towards him.

“What- _aaagggh_ \- the _fuck_?!” Mickey jumps up frantically, flipping over the back of the couch when he sees a thumb-sized, ugly and hairy ass spider resting nonchalantly on his shoulder.

The room full of people burst out laughing at Mickey’s reaction, while the dark haired male is splayed out on the floor trying to get away from the creepy crawly making its way towards him. Carl gets up from the floor in front of the long couch and picks up the spider, throwing it out the open window in the living room.

“Guess the city’s toughest thug even has a fear.” Kevin teases and fist bumps Lip.

“Just didn’t know it would be something as small as a fucking spider!” Veronica laughs out, clapping her hands together in uproarious laughter. “Please tell me you recorded that shit, Fi!”

Fiona nods her head, unable to voice her affirmation as she’s leaned over on her side, tears forming in her eyes from her own fair share of laughter.

“ _IAN_! Fuckin’ assholes!” Mickey hisses out, kicking Ian hard in the shin, not even near satisfied when Ian lets out a small wince.

Mickey storms out of the house, shaking his head in fury and slams the door behind him, blocking out Ian’s loud proclamation.

“Love ya’ Mickey!”

-

Mickey’s hands are balanced on his boyfriend’s built chest as he rides him slow and tenderly in their bed late at night. They had just put Yev down an hour or two ago, since it was Mickey and Ian’s turn to watch Yevgeny this week based off of the deal Mickey and Svetlana had established a few months ago; Svetlana gets Yevgeny on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays while Ian and Mickey get him for Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays and on Saturdays they all hang out together. It was something that admittedly worked for them in Mickey’s opinion.

Mickey lets out a soft moan when Ian snaps his hips up, punching that spot deep within Mickey’s walls, focusing Mickey’s attention back onto the sexy matter at hand.

“Shit…there, right fuckin’ there, _sss_ ohh.” Mickey mutters out, speeding up the movement of his hips, yet taking care not to let the headboard bang against the wall lest they wanted ‘Geny to wake up.

“There, baby? Hm?” Ian snaps his hips up more in quick succession causing the smaller male’s mouth to drop open and his brows to furrow in pleasure.

Rolling his hips and grinding hard onto the ginger’s magnificent dick, Mickey shudders as Ian’s dickhead brushes all along his walls and presses steadily into his prostate and he registers hearing a clicking sound somewhere out in the living room but he pushes it to the back of his mind.

Reaching his hands out and grabbing onto Ian’s, he pulls them back to direct Ian’s hands onto his own ass who automatically begins kneading and slapping the pale cheeks playfully, as he continues to work himself over his boyfriend’s dick.

Before Mickey could lean down to kiss Ian, the door to their bedroom busts open and a tall figure dressed from head to toe in a dark cloak with a hideous bloody and mangled face, wielding a fucking chainsaw jumps in, swinging the machine wildly as it makes a fuck load of noise.

“Holy fuckin’ SHIT!”

The instance scares the fuck out of Mickey, who lets out a loud scream and falls off the side of the bed and onto the hardwood floor, landing with a loud thud, face still mirroring the expression of terror.

The chainsaw stops and the figure takes off the mask, shaking out a long cascade of brunette hair, letting it flow down to her mid-back.

Svetlana Milkovich has a dark smirk painted on her lips, for once void of their usual crimson color, while Ian is sitting up in the bed cackling like a fucking crack-head hyped up on coke and heroin.

“ _IAN_! Really?!” Mickey screams jumping up, while angrily pulling on his boxers, boner and the overall mood of sexing each other up completely gone. “While we’re fuckin’?! And you got this dumb whore to do this shit for you?!”

Ian’s still carrying on, so Svetlana intervenes, smirk still firmly in place. “He offer to pay me $50 to scare shit out of you, but I tell him I do for free…nothing beats chance than scaring piece of shit husband.”

“Fuck you, bitch! You both can burn in volcanic ash mixed in with fuckin’ hell! Get the fuck out!” Mickey yells pointing towards the door in mention, but then rolls his eyes when he hears ‘Geny start to shriek in displeasure. “You two can handle that bullshit, I already did my job, now fuckin’ leave.”

Mickey punches Ian in the back of the head as he exits and throws a pillow in Svetlana’s direction as they’re pushed out, both of them still finding the whole situation amusing.

“And it’s not fuckin’ funny!” With that, Mickey slams the bedroom door in their faces.

“Love ya’ Mickey!”

“ _Fuck off, Gallagher_!”

“Hey, Mands, you record it?” Ian whispers out into the darkened living room.

“Of course, I’m always game for humiliating that shit head.” Mandy replies as she steps out from behind a couch.

-

Mickey closes the door to their apartment and makes his way to his car, still mad at Ian for that shitty fucking prank he played on him while they were in the middle of a loving and sexy moment last week. Like for fuck’s sake, that’s some really rude and disrespectful shit…he couldn’t have waited until a few minutes after they both came and were damn near passed out in a pleasure-filled fucking haze?

With how many hours they take on from their respective jobs, Mickey at the Alibi and Ian at some office job he got lucky with, as well as him studying to get his GED, they barely had enough stamina and energy to get busy; to top it off, they still had to take care of ‘Geny and sometimes Ian’s meds would make his libido non-existent.

Mickey’s getting real tired of this “Prank Mickey” shit and he doesn’t want to flip out on Ian because he knows he just wants to have some fun and he dares not fuck up their stability that they’ve worked hard to get to at this point but still…Mickey doesn’t appreciate being the fucking butt of jokes, it makes him feel like a pathetic toy, something for people to amuse themselves with.

Closing the door behind him and starting the car up, Mickey’s about to pull away but he feels something brush up against his leg.

“The hell…?” Mickey frowns in wonder and leans his seat back to better see what the fuck is down there.

Right by his right foot, a medium-sized dark brown snake, sits in a coil, hissing and slithering around Mickey’s leg.

Mickey stays frozen for a couple of seconds before he jumps into action.

“ _Fuck_ …FUCK… _fuckfuckfuck_ … _IAN_ …!” Mickey hops out of the car, voice trailing off in true horror.

He jumps around shaking the serpent off of his leg and grabbing a baseball bat from the backseat of the car and tries to smash the fucker into bloody pieces, however his arm is grabbed and the bat is taken from his grip.

“Calm down, Mick, this belongs to a friend of mine.” Ian explains, giggling and picking up the reptile, holding it out for his boyfriend to see.

“Get that shit the fuck away from me.” Mickey says, taking a couple of steps towards his car and hopping back in. “You’re fuckin’ insane…I almost broke my fuckin’ _neck_ tryin’ ta’ get out of the goddamn car!”

“But it’s harmless, baby!”

Ian’s graced with Mickey’s middle finger before the smaller male drives away.

“Love ya’ Mick!”

-

Mickey goes to rub deodorant under his arms and looks down in shock when he feels the unusual creamy texture and weird smell coming from the hygienic product.

Taking his fingers and running it through the deodorant, he brings it to his nose and sniffs, reeling back in disgust and annoyance when he finds that it’s fucking cream cheese!

“What the fuck- _IAN_!” He throws the deodorant across the room in anger the minute he hears laughter coming from the living room.

“Love ya’ Mick!”

-

Mickey’s sitting out on the Gallagher’s back porch watching the rest of them playing in the pool, Kev, V, Fiona and JimmyJackSteve talking over by the grill.

Thoughts racing through Mickey’s head are briefly interrupted when he feels himself being lifted into strong arms.

“Put me the fuck down, Gallagher.” He says dangerously, his eyebrows up in warning, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

“It’s just a little water, Mickey.” Ian reasons with a bright smile on his face.

“I’m still completely dressed, you fuckin’ idiot- _ahh_!” Mickey’s insult is cut off when Ian tosses him into the cool water of the pool creating a big splash.

Mickey resurfaces, clothes soaked through, hair askew and dripping wet into his now stormy blue eyes, glaring at everyone laughing.

“ _IAN_!”

“Love ya’ Mick!” Ian yells out as Mickey jumps out of the pool nearly slipping and chasing after his douche of a boyfriend.

-

Mickey is exhausted and has just closed his eyes, snuggling into the bed covers, ready to succumb to that bone-deep tiredness and let sleep overtake his body…

HOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKK!

…Before a loud fucking air horn breaks through the comfy haze and he jerks awake.

“Fuckin’ _Christ_ \- IAN!” Mickey throws the nearest thing at the ginger standing in the doorway, which happens to be the alarm clock.

“Love ya’ Mickey!” He exclaims as he ducks out of the way and closes the door with a loud slam.

-

The final straw comes when Mickey steps through the Gallagher household and notices everyone crowded around the living room sofa, all eyes trained on the screen of a laptop sitting in Debbie’s lap.

A loud chorus of laughter breaks through the silence and as Mickey ventures closer to see what’s on the screen, his blood boils.

It’s a whole fucking collage of Ian pranking him over the last few months…and it’s uploaded on YouTube.

“The fuck is Ian?” Mickey grits out, when he sees his lover isn’t present.

They all turn towards him and look at each other before breaking into another chorus of annoying laughter to Mickey’s disdain.

Before Mickey can ask again, they point behind him and he slowly turns around…

…Only to get a face full of sweet potato pie covered in what had to be a bucket load of fucking whipped cream.

He stands there for a second, taking deep breaths and takes his fingers, wiping his eyes free of the cream and opening them to see his boyfriend standing there a Cheshire fucking Cat smile planted on his face.

“ _Ian_ …” Mickey growls out softly.

“Love ya’ Mick!” Ian leans over licking a long stripe up the side of his face, savoring the taste of pie and Mickey’s distinct taste underneath and going over to give his family and friends high fives, all the while still cracking up.

Mickey’s left standing there, still facing away from the family and then leaves the house calmly.

-

Ian opens up the door to his and Mickey’s apartment, loud and long yawn escaping from his mouth. It’s 11 o’ clock at night and he had texted Mickey a couple of hours ago telling him that he would get home earlier than this but somehow there was an error made at the job because of some fuck face, so Ian had to stay extra late to help fix it. What a pain in the fucking ass.

But he’s glad to be home and he can’t wait until he gets out of the shower so he can cuddle with Mickey…maybe make up for all of the mean pranks he’s been playing on him for the past few months.

Ian doesn’t really know why he started pranking Mickey…he thought it’d just be funny as fuck to see his reaction. He was hoping to engage in some prank wars like some of what he saw on YouTube and Vines and shit but he guessed Mickey felt all that shit was childish or something. He wanted to show Mickey that he was alright and that he can still have fun regardless of his fucked up diagnosis but that last prank he saw that Mickey looked like he wanted to stab someone’s brains out so he’s stopped with the pranks and has instead been all lovey dovey with his boyfriend, despite the many times Mickey’s tried pushing him away.

He also wanted to provide some type of levity to the downsides of living in the Southside of Chicago, especially as a Milkovich, since Mickey’s had to grow up quick so fast in his household just like Ian and his siblings and damn near everybody on this side of Chicago.

But lately Mickey’s been a bit distant from Ian and Ian just blames it on his anger at Ian and his innumerable amount of pranks.

“Mick? You here?” Ian calls out as he makes his way back to the bedroom.

He sees that all the lights are off in the bedroom and sees a lump under the covers, facing away from the doorway.

“Mickey…you okay?” Ian whispers out worriedly as he ventures further into the room turning on the bedside lamp and illuminating the room as well as Mickey’s tear stained face. “Shit, Mickey, what’s wrong…what happened?”

Mickey looks up at him with distant blue eyes and Ian gets a queasy feeling in his stomach, dreading what Mickey’s about to say.

“Ian…I…can’t…” Mickey gets out, sitting up against their headboard, hand running over his face, he picks up the bottle of Vodka sitting half empty on the side table and drinks a few mouthfuls.

“What- what do you mean, you can’t…what’s going on…talk to me, _please_.” Ian pleads desperately, crawling onto the bed and sitting close by Mickey.

“I…I…was with someone…”

Ian’s eyebrows raise in confusion. “Okay…you were with someone…what happened?”

“No-no…I mean I was _with_ someone else…I slept with them.”

It takes a couple of minutes for the statement to register in Ian’s ears and when it does, he feels faint.

“ _What_?”

“You heard me…Ian…don’t make me say it aga-”

“Are you fucking serious right now, Mickey? After all that bullshit that we went through to get us here…you decide to go out and _FUCK SOMEONE ELSE_?!”

Ian cuts Mickey off and knocks everything that’s sitting on their nightstand and dresser off onto the floor, sending things flying with a crash and bang.

“Look, I didn’t mean for it to happen…your pranks…I just couldn’t take it-”

“You’re not gonna blame your fucking someone else on some harmless fucking pranks, Mickey…that’s just bullshit and you fucking know it.” Ian hisses out venomously, eyes narrowed in his boyfriend’s direction.

He’s on the other side of the room, trying to keep calm and from hitting Mickey but he’s so close to the fucking edge, he feels like he can snap a person’s fucking neck in two.

Mickey jumps up from the bed, his own anger from all of Ian’s antics returning full force.

“Fuck you! I’m not blamin’ shit on anythin’, you don’t know when to fuckin’ stop!” Mickey screams, taking threatening steps towards the ginger. “The first couple times it was funny and I understand it was a joke, but for fuck’s sake you took shit too fuckin’ far! A _snake_?! Fuckin’ bribin’ Svetlana to scare me, while we were in the _middle of having sex_ , for fuck’s sake?! That’s your idea of a fuckin’ joke, huh?!”

“Come the fuck on, Mickey, you expect me to believe that? I was just trying to make everything better…with all the shit that both of our families have been put through and are continuously put through, somebody had to try and make light of the situation!”

“Do you know how that shit made me feel when you guys all kept laughing and shit? I felt like a fuckin’ _idiot_ ; I thought that obviously everyone sees me as a fuckin’ joke compared to you and I don’t deserve you or some shit because secretly I can’t take a simple fuckin’ joke!”

Ian falls silent after he was readying his own protest as soon as he hears Mickey’s explanation. He had no idea Mickey felt that way, he thought he was just being his usual tough guy self, letting nothing like a few petty jokes bother him. But for fuck’s sake, did he still have to cheat on him over it?

“Mickey…I had no idea you felt that way, but you fucking cheated on me for something as ridiculous as that? You know I fucking love you…and I don’t give a fuck about what anyone else says or think…you, Mickey Milkovich are fucking it for me…I was hoping that you’d feel the same…” Ian trails off depressingly, looking off to the side.

“Well, I guess you fucked up-” A loud slam interrupts Mickey and his eyes widen when he sees that Ian punched a hole in the fucking wall. “’Ay, what the _fuck_ , Ian!”

“You saying I fucked up? _YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME_!” Ian screams out, stomping up to Mickey and pushing him roughly onto the bed.

Mickey stares up at him in shock for a couple of seconds before he pushes himself up on his elbows. “Are you outta your fuckin’ mind…look, I’m just-”

“Who the fuck was it.” Ian demands instead of asking as he leaves the room, moving towards the direction of the front door and pulling on his boots.

“Ian…Ian, where are you goin’?”

“Don’t fucking worry about it…I asked you a fucking question, Mickey.”

“ _Christ_ …the fuck you gonna do, tough guy? Go out and beat the shit outta him?”

“As soon as you give me his fucking name, I’ll figure shit out from that point…Mickey, who the fuck is he?!” Ian yells out, now pissed off that the Milkovich won’t answer his fucking question.

“Fuckin’ Christ, Ian, it’s a fuckin’ joke!” Mickey says, rolling his eyes once he sees Ian’s body tense. “Now, take your goddamn shoes off and bring your crazy ass back to the room.”

Mickey turns away and stops to grab a beer from the kitchen to wash that nasty taste of the Vodka he loaned from Svetlana out of his mouth, before going back to their bedroom to wait for Ian.

Taking a few swigs from the beer bottle, his eyes track his boyfriend’s movement as he staggers into the bedroom, face a blank slate.

“You okay there, Bruce Banner? Thought you were gonna turn all big and green there for a fuckin’ sec.” Mickey jokes cautiously.

“…Mickey…you were just joking the whole time?” Ian asks blankly, leaning on the open door jamb.

“Yea, Firecrotch, I was just fuckin’ around…figured I’d give you a little taste of your own medicine, y’know?”

It’s quiet before Mickey lets out a low sigh and walks up to Ian. “I’d never do that to you, ever. And yeah…I do feel the same.” Mickey says in reference to Ian’s earlier comment about them being it for one another. “But…I wasn’t joking about how I felt when you were fuckin’ around and shit…I didn’t want to yell at you and ruin your fun _or_ your mood but it was still fuckin’ annoyin’ and made me feel like a complete dumbass.”

“Shit, Mickey…I’ll never do another prank on you ever again-”

“No, no…I want us to have fun times, just tone it down a little, ‘kay?” Mickey questions while wrapping his arms around Ian’s broad shoulders and leaning in for a kiss.

“Fuck…Mickey, I was about to go fuckin’ crazy if this was for real…you have no fuckin’ idea how- mmm.” Ian’s cut off when Mickey’s plush and slightly, chapped lips press against his.

Mickey then knees Ian in the balls and punches him in the stomach.

“ _Ow_ …what the fuck, Mickey?” Ian groans out trying to figure out which part of himself to hold first.

“Consider it payback, Firecrotch.” Mickey says idly, a smirk of his own making its way onto his lips.

“Wasn’t the joke itself enough?”

“Absolutely not.” Mickey laughs out, grabbing his beer and leaving the room once again, this time flopping down on the living room couch and turning on the T.V. “Hope you learned your fuckin’ lesson, Gallagher.”

Mickey’s answered with Ian’s pained groan and Mickey lets out a relaxed sigh, propping his feet up onto the coffee table.

“ _Love ya’ Ian_!”


End file.
